Labyrinth: Retro Review

     Another nostalgic one for me. Interestingly enough, another film that featured muppets. Apparently Jim Henson owned the 80’s and 90’s. This is the third retro review I’ve done that’s had plenty and I am 100% sure that it won’t be the last by far. Maybe I should shut up before Pumpkinhead from the 1988 film “Pumpkinhead” (Yes he was made in “Jim Henson’s Creature Shop” too) shows up to my house and Pumpkinheads me… Alright you got me, I don’t remember what Pumpkinhead does to people. It was the 80’s, there was a new horror film every four hours. Maybe I should open up the variety of my Retro Reviews. I have to satisfy my follower suggestions though, so here we go!

First off, I have to mention the songs. Holy crap the songs in this movie are awesome! I’m going to have to look into the writers and composers of the soundtrack. “Chilly Down” has always been a favorite of mine. It speaks to me of freedom from inhibitions and responsibilities, which is obviously why everything about the Wild Gang/Fireys terrifies Sarah.

This is a pretty interesting adventure movie about a girl who has made a massive and irresponsible mistake. In order to fix it, she has to stop whining and start acting. It takes her a while to stop complaining about the lack of fairness in the world and get her annoying a** in gear. She’s also very childish and collects things. It’s kind of like “The Little Mermaid.” The only differences here are that her friends are way more useful and she actually learns her lesson at the end. Disney movies teach bad lessons, just pay attention. I could do an entire series about them… maybe a youtube series… I’ll be right back, I have to grab my idea book…

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Okay, so one of the best things about this movie is Sarah’s uncanny ability to make good friends. In a place that’s full of characters meant to distract and mislead her (just like everything else there is meant to), she somehow meets all the loyal and useful beings around:

Hoggle is the most complex. He might actually have a more complete arc than Sarah. His only job is to keep her from succeeding, but she appeals to his most powerful trait: his greed. His obsession with jewelry makes him easily bribable, which she happily exploits for his loyalty. His second most powerful trait is his cowardice, which is what Jareth, the Goblin King uses to pull him in the opposite direction. Threats to be banished to the “Bog of Eternal Stench” keep him in line, until he finally takes a stand in the name of friendship.

Ludo is my personal favorite. He is big, strong, horrifying, stupid, gentle and the ability to talk to rocks. That last one comes in handy all over the place! Who knew? He is both stupid and smart enough to immediately trust the only person who stood up for him. Everyone sees him as a monster, but Sarah sees him more for what he is. She genuinely cares for him and he would definitely do anything for her.

Lastly, there’s Sir Didymus and his “loyal steed” Ambrosius. I put that in quotes because Ambrosius is only mostly loyal and is definitely not a “steed.” He is a large sheep dog who is smart enough to retreat when his “fearless” master confronts impossible odds. It’s weird to see a dog ride another dog, but these two are a stitch. Sir Didymus only follows his honor. Ludo defeats him in single combat so he pledges himself to their cause. Sarah’s is of course able to get more loyalty from him by being the classic damsel in distress. Someone like Sir Didymus can’t possibly resist helping someone like her.

If you’ve noticed anything about her, its the fact that Sarah is a master manipulator. The interesting thing is that it doesn’t appear that she’s doing it on purpose. With the exception of bribing Hoggle, she is very sincere in every respect. The reason why this works is how well her sincerity moves forward with her character growth. She grows so much in maturity throughout the movie. It is very great to see her go from whining about the world to standing up to Jareth in that living M. C. Escher painting at the end.

The strange thing is that however sinister the Gobling King acts, he may actually be acting in her best interest by teaching her a valuable lesson about growing up. The entire premise of the movie starts with his love for her. She complains about her baby brother, Toby and wishes for him to be taken away. So Jareth complies. Perhaps he is sacrificing any possible affection she might gain for him to help her become a more complete person. Even the growth is beautifully symbolized by her giving her favorite stuffed animal to Toby.

Jareth the Goblin King is a hero (possibly), a handsome hero with the most bulge accenuating pants in all of cinema. Give it a shot if you haven’t seen it in a long time. I would definitely say it’s worth it.

Jonathan Jones

Jonathan Thomas Jones is a speculative fiction author and founder of geekhavenreviews.com. He has been passionate about all things geek for his entire life. See more about him at jonathanthomasjones.com and follow him on twitter @jtgloryjones.